The Golden Compass movie

Last night we invited about two dozen students from the creative writing program over to our house for a get together. These kids (most are in their twenties) are all fairly bright people and got along very well. Even the Christian girl seems to get along with the gay couple .... up to a point.

At the end of the evening the gay couple got up to leave, and they suggested that they were going to catch the late show of _The Golden Compass_. At this point, the Christian girl jumped up and asked them *not* to go to this movie, because it was based on a children's book written by an atheist (English author Philip Pullman). I found the whole scene a bit surreal. She seemed (as far as I could tell) to have no problem with the fact that they were a gay couple, but the idea that they might go see this film, which she assumed was some kind of atheist propaganda... or at the very least an enticement that might lead children to read the book... well, for some reason this really bothered her.

Frankly, I am bothered by the fact that christians can promote all sorts of horrid crap, like the sado-masochist and anti-Semitic film _The Passion of the Christ_ and even show this film (now on DVD) to small children in their churches. There is no telling how much severe psychological damage has been caused by this disgusting film. The night I was at the theater, there were many people crying and emotionally crushed by this piece of propaganda.

At the same time, Christians have no problem attacking _The Golden Compass_ without having bothered to see it. The fact that the book was written by an atheist is sufficient reason to condemn the film.

As much as Christian groups like to pretend that they are being persecuted, it is the atheists who are shunned and boycotted by these small-minded bigots.

It's easy to see why the Catholic church hates this film, since it is an attack on authoritarian religions. But why do evangelicals attack the film? Aren't all these Protestants supposed to be anti-authoritarian too?

I guess just being smeared with the atheist label is enough.

Who's Stupid Now ?

A couple of Christian pundits have taken me to task for my book _Raptured: The Final Daze of the Late, Great Planet Earth_. The general sense of their comments is:

"Do you think all Christians are stupid, or what?"

To me this question misses the point. None of these Right-wing evangelicals care about my opinion, so why do they ask? Similarly the Pope in Rome (Joe "the Rat" Ratzinger) couldn't care less about my opinion, nor do any of his followers. Obviously, they are not going to be buying my book anyway -- unless they enjoy books that mock loony Right-wing Protestants (as opposed to the loony Right-wing Catholics, who recently elected an ex-Nazi to be Pope).

So why do they care what I say? Why do they even ask?

I think this comes from a deep-seated fear that Right-wing evangelicals have about the leaders of their religion. They look at men like Richard Roberts, Pat Robertson, James Dobson and wonder this same question:

"Do you think all Christians are stupid, or what?"

The reason for this fear, this intense self-depreciation is that these "men of God" these "religious leaders" treat the people in their ministries as if they were complete morons.

For example, when a man dips into funds belonging to the ministry and then spends them on his own personal desires, doesn't this suggest a contempt for Christians? Doesn't embezzling money from a ministry suggest contempt for those people who donated their hard-earned dollars?

For example, Pat Robertson has made himself a millionaire several times over by using his ministry to advance his own private media empire. Some of the transgressions are obvious, like using planes belonging to a religious charity to move mining equipment in Africa, or using the 700 Club program to establish his own television network, which he later sold for many millions. More recently, Robertson has been hawking a high-protein shake and even demonstrated his new muscles in a fake weight-lifting demonstration. Robertson is so arrogant that he believes his followers will have no trouble accepting the idea that a man in in 70s can set a weight-lifting record by using a protein shake!!!

I wonder, when Pat wakes up in the morning, does he ever say:

"I shouldn't do this! The people in my ministry are too smart to ever fall for this silly crap."

Evidently not.

So if Christians want to escape the "stooopiddd" label, maybe they should take their leaders to task for abusing them, over and over and over again.

Holy Fraud

A person I know attends a small church with about twenty members (total). The minister recently, during one of his two-hour long sermons, announced that all the church members were going to have to go to Chicago for a one-day training session on how to do counseling with alcoholics and drug users. After the one-day training, they will start counseling people with addiction problems at the church.

This looks like one more example of George Bush's "faith based" scam. The church members will, after one day of training, be able to counsel drug addicts; and then the church will bill the federal government for this high-quality counseling. I'm sure the guys in Chicago also submit a bill to the feds for the training of these counselors. All-in-all this is just one more example of the "faith based" scam that--thanks to the Boob-in-Chief in Washington--allows churches to raid the federal treasury with no accountability and no standards of care.

What's even more grotesque is that I know for a fact that this minister believes that all mental and emotional problems are the work of demons. He doesn't believe in mental illness or psychological counseling, so all this counseling is going to be people praying over alcoholics and drug addicts. These people are going to counsel the addicts to read the Bible and pray to Jesus.

Do they really need to go to Chicago to learn how to do that? Or is it all about getting the money?

more corruption and scandal

In my blogg of Monday, July 16, 2007 I suggested that many congressmen are not giving real value for our tax dollars. For example, disgraced Senator Vitter was found to have hired prostitutes, paying above $300 for single session. This seems extravagant, especially for someone from Louisianna who knows the $150 is typical for this kind of service (unless maybe he is just a really big tipper).

Now it seems we have another Republican politito, Coy Privette (R-NC), who actually gave his mistress a BLANK CHECK.

Yes, you heard it. He gave her a blank check for her services.

What was he thinking! It's not like he can use the excuse that, like Sen. David Vitter, R-La, he had developed bad habits after dealing with all those military contractors and no-bid construction contracts for Haliburton.

And this congressman was also, at one time, a minister! Did he ever see anyone throw a blank check into the collection plate? Not hardly.

Privette is 74 years old, a staunch social conservative and, until recently, President of the Christian Action League.

This is why you just can't trust Republicans with your tax dollars....

Swift Boat Liars for Bush...

NOT-SO-SWIFT TEXAS NATIONAL GUARD VETERANS FOR BUSH (Script for a TV ad for the Bush Campaign)

Vet #1: People are not telling the truth about George Bush's war experience.

Vet #2: George Bush is just like a real war hero.

Vet #3: I knowed George Bush. I served with him in the Texas National Guard.

Vet #4: While John Kerry was off in Vietnam, shooting Gooks, George was right here in Texas, protecting American soil.

Vet #5: George is a real Texas patriot. And George REALLY knows how to have a good time, too!

Vet #6: If I was going on a road trip, I would want George right there next to me, riding shotgun.

Vet #7: I felt safe with George sitting next to me, a Coors in one hand and a rollin' a joint with the other.

Vet #8: And George sure knows where to go to have fun. He knows every bar and strip club in Texas, 'cause George has been to 'em all.

Vet #9: One time, in a bar in Austin, George had this blonde stripper givin' him a lap dance, and he was doing body shots off a different stripper, both at the same time!

Vet #10: There was this one stripper named Dixie. I think George was in love with her. He used to sit down front, next to the stage, and sing: 'I wish I was in Dixie, Hooray, Hooray! I wish I was in Dixie, Hooray, Hooray!'

Vet #11: And then he would say, Hey, Honey, do you know what a Bronski is? And before you could say Boo! George had his face shoved in her tits!

Vet #12: George got up on the bar and started dancing. He pulled his pants off and he was wearing a bra on his head!

Vet #13: And then we said, Come on, George, put your pants back on. She don't want to see your thing. And the rest of us have seen it. Lots of times.

Vet #14: This bouncer grabbed George and threw him out of the bar. But not before we smashed up a couple of chairs and set the men's toilet on fire!

Vet #15: I remember one time when we were in this bordello in Matamoros.

Vet #16: George was snortin' coke off of this Mexican whore's ass.

Vet #17: George still has a scar from when that pimp hit him with a beer bottle.

Vet #18: That cut started bleedin' like a sum-a-bitch. I think his Dad got him a Purple Heart for that action.

Vet #19: So get this! On the way home George had his head stuck out the window of the Ford Mustang. And he was puking all over the side of the car, while it was still moving!

Vet #20: Later that same night, George showed up at my sister's house. He had a six-pack of Coors in one hand and a bong in the other. Now that boy knows how to party!

BECAUSE AMERICA NEEDS A PRESIDENT WHO KNOWS HOW TO PAR-TEE HAR-TEE!!!!

(paid for by Crawford Bottling & Fine Liquor, Crawford, Texas)

If Mohammed had a car....

There has been a great deal of news coverage lately about my neighbor who lives across the street. He has been living in his car for over six years, after his wife kicked him out of the house. Here is the original story from the Joplin Globe:

http://www.joplinglobe.com/archivesearch/local_story_221005956.html

A few days ago the wife was interviewed by the guys on the morning show at Rock 103 in Memphis. They elicited from the wife the fact that she kicked him out of the house after she found out that he was running around "partying" with the Doublemint Twins! Yes, one set of the Doublemint Twins (there were several sets of twins over the years hired to promote Doublemint gum) lives here in Pittsburg, Kansas.

By an odd coincidence, I recieved in the mail today a new pamphlet "Road map for a religion of violence... The Koran" from my anarchist friend, Fred Woodworth, who is the longtime publisher of an anarchist magazine, The Match! Fred points out some of the religious lunacy that found its way into the Koran.

Fred starts with the story of how one of Mohammed's wives, Hafsah, caught him in the sack with a slave girl. Apparantly, she had caught him boinking the slave girls before, and he had promised to stop. Mohammed then got very angry (about being caught) and so he wrote in the Koran that God permits him (Mohammed) to boink whoever he wants to, and his wives should shut the hell up about it or he (Mohammed) is permitted (By God!) to cast these wives aside, or worse. Mohammed includes a list of all the women he is allowed to boink, including all the female captives captured in battle and all of his female cousins (listed in the Koran as "the daughters of your paternal and maternal uncles and your paternal and maternal aunts"). Because God (here called Allah) is always very generous to his holy servants, God will also permit Mohammed to have sex with "any believing woman who gives herself to the Prophet...." I bet Bill Clinton wishes he had that kind of leeway.

Anyway, it's not hard to imagine that if Mohammed were alive today he would be living in a car (on blocks) in his wife's back yard. Instead of writing his holy book, he would be singing along with his radio, and maybe even singing classic rock songs. Who knows....


Anyone who wants a copy of Fred's pamphlet can write to him at The Match! PO Box 3012 Tucson AZ 85702. The pamphlets are free, but please help Fred out with a buck or two for postage.

Shades of Joseph Smith

Today's paper includes a news story from Salina, Kansas, about a couple who were scammed out of $45,000 by a couple of confidence men. These swindlers convinced the couple that a treasure trove of gold coins was buried under their shop. Using a "treasure detector" that beeped loudly near buried gold, they convinced the couple to let them dig under the floor at the back of their shop. The men then pretended to discover a metal box dated 1878 which contained documents describing a treasure of gold coins buried a few feet below where the box was (supposedly) found. In order to avoid a magic curse, the couple had to build an altar and say the rosary for nine days. As part of the process for avoiding the curse, the swindlers put $25,000 of their own money on the altar and the couple put $45,000 in cash on the altar. Needless to say, the two swindlers soon made off with all of the cash.

This scam is very similar to the old "buried treasure" scam that was run in upstate New York by Joseph Smith and his Pa. The Smiths were well-know swindlers back in the 1820s. As part of the scam, the swindlers would find a hidden treasure using a "peer stone"--usually a piece of quartz crystal or glass. The swindler claimed to "see" the treasure through his magic stone, and he offered to help the land-owner (usually a wealthy farmer) to find the treasure and dig it up--for a large fee. Usually, after the farm hands would dig for several hours (or days) the swindler would announce that the treasure had been magically transported by pirate ghosts or Indian spirits to some other hidden location. The swindler/seer then left with his fee.

The Church of the Mormon has long claimed that Joseph Smith was not a scam artist, but recently-discovered court documents prove otherwise. The Chenango County Office Building in Norwich, New York, has documents from 1826 that prove good old Joe Smith was accused of running just such a scam. Later Joe gave up running these kind of petty swindles and went into the big time religion racket. The magical "peer stones" he used in running the scam were, until recently, on display in Salt Lake City. It was these same magic stones that Joe used to "read" the hieroglyphs written on the gold and silver plates given to him by the angel Moroni.

For those of you not familiar with Mormon history, Joseph Smith claimed to have found gold and silver plates buried in the earth, with the help of an angel. Joe translated the writing on the plates--using his magic seer stones--and produced his "translation" of the writing, now known as the Book of the Mormon. No one ever saw the plates, though Joe was clever enough to get some gullible followers to go into an empty room and feel the plates through a burlap bag. These followers then signed affidavits stating that they had handled the gold plates. Of course, for all they knew the objects in the bag could have been steel hubcaps (if hubcaps existed in 1830)! Other followers were told to simply spiritually "visualize" the gold plates through prayer. All of their affidavits are reprinted at the beginning of the Book of the Mormon.

The act of putting cash from the swindlers and the victims in a common bag (which the victims hold) is also a very, very old confidence game. The swindler in Salina, Kansas, seem to have combined the two cons into an effective game.