Yes, Virginia, there is a Jesus.
I know this because he mows my boss's yard every other Thursday.
Or maybe you're thinking about the illegal they call Little Jesus.
He works at the meatpacking plant, or at least he did until last week
when the INS guys raided the plant and sent him back to Mexico.
Or, then again, maybe you're thinking about the Jesus who is the
mayor of Garden City, Kansas. A republican woman (who was just
elected to State Bored of Education) said that he wasn't born in this
country and he had no business serving as mayor. But Jesus says that
he was born in Garden City and so was his Dad, ... but she's not so
sure about that.
Then, of course, there is the Jesus that the Southern Baptists talk
about. That Jesus hates Catholics, homosexuals, liberal Democrats,
and a lot of other people. That Jesus is not so sure about women or
I guess there's a Jesus who goes to the Catholic church, too. He
hates protestants, Moslems, communists, atheists, abortion doctors
and women who use birth control. I've never met this Jesus, but I
think he must have a son, Jesus, Jr., because I read in the newspaper
that a catholic boy named Jesus accused the priest of molesting him.
I don't know what Jesus, Sr., thinks about this, but he still goes to
that same church anyway. I guess Jesus, Sr., must really like church
a lot, because he still goes there and takes communion from the
people who molested his little boy, Jesus, Jr..
Anyway, yes, Virginia, there is a Jesus. There are lots of Jesuses,
and some of them are nice guys and some of them are not....
If you enjoyed this, you might want to read: _Raptured: The Final
Daze of the Late, Great Planet Earth_