We were driving east along Highway 44, near Joplin, Missouri, a week after the F5 tornado tore through the south side of the city, cutting a mile wide swath through houses and businesses. The tornado destroyed several schools, churches, apartment buildings, and basically gutted St. Johns Hospital.
As we drove along highway 44, my wife noticed that almost every exit had a porn shop, or sometimes two. She said, "Why would God destroy a hospital and leave behind all these porn shops?"
I explained, "God has no problem with porn shops. But hospitals actively defy His will. God makes people sick, but hospitals make them well--thus defeating God's plan. It only makes sense that He destroy hospitals. Similarly, schools teach about science, and these ideas tend to weaken the faith of the masses (I almost said "ignorant masses" but that seems redundant in this case). Similarly, churches preach about salvation, and God is all about punishment-- after all He did create Original Sin."
Update: I later found out that God also destroyed Christie's Toy Box, which is just north of the IHOP on Rangeline Road in Joplin. I guess God hates pancakes so much that he was willing to destroy the sex toys, too. By the way, I'm also trying to imagine the facial expression of the guy, living just east of Joplin, who finds a pink rubber dildo stuck in the crotch of his elm tree.