Spiritual Advice in the manner of Elizabeth Gilbert’s “Eat, Pray, Love”
"You need to look for God. Look for God the way a man with his nuts on fire looks for water hose (and not just to suck it).
"God is not hiding from you. Right now I can see him standing behind the living room curtains. He’s wearing sandals and his toenails are dirty. His dirty, dirty toenails. He could sure use a pedicure."
"I think he's waiting to jump out and yell 'BOOO' !
"Yep, he has been waiting 2,000 years just to pull this one gag."