“So the Pope is talking about coming to New York? We'll see if my invite comes in the mail anytime soon.
"Honestly, I’m probably not being canonized … yet. But so what? And being ignored hasn't really affected me much. I really think that withholding his Pontifical approval is okay, at least for now. If anything, it's probably a healthy outlet for whatever complicated sorts of feelings he must be having about me right now. And, after all, I can't really blame him. It’s not like I’m a 12-year-old boy lying face down in the Sacristy with my cassock pulled up over my head. He can ignore me.
“Everybody has the right to tell their story, under oath. My sense is that he will tell a very different story from mine. But that's why “Joe the Rat” and I -- we're not together anymore. A lot of what religion is must be is the ability to agree on a central narrative, and then to stick to it – no matter what the cops say. You know that, right?
“And the shockingest thing about the break up was, even after going through six months of therapy, it was like, ‘We do not agree on a single thing about what's going on here.’ That's called irreconcilable differences. Or heresy. Honestly, I really don't have a lot of hostility toward him. He's moved on; he's got kids now with that Italian trollop, so he's moved on with his life. I'm glad he's happy. I just—I don't want to live with his judgmental nature anymore. You know that, right?”