“Americans have a strange inability to relax in the sheer pleasure of the moment. Ours is an entertainment-seeking nation, but not particularly a pleasure-seeking one—except maybe for Bill Shatner and Flavor Flav, and maybe Candice Bergen and Carrot Top. (Sorry I put that image in your head!)
“Americans spend billions on themselves and are amused with everything from porn to theme parks, which is why I am investing big $$$ in Ron Jeremy’s new Porno Theme Park.
“But wanking off most of the time … that’s just not the same thing as a quiet evening’s enjoyment. Just ask the Brits. Americans work harder and longer, and longer and harder, and more and more stressful hours than anyone in the world today, except maybe the middle-aged hookers who work Moscow’s Red Square. Americans feel much more happy and fulfilled in their little shabby offices than they do in their own homes. I guess most Americans must be really, really dumb.”